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The druid said: “I Am My True Self” —
Said Every Deluded Mammal, Ever So there I was, standing in
the kitchen, holding a spoon I had no memory of picking up, staring
into the abyss of the sink like it might finally reveal the secret of
existence. Then it
hit me, as it hits all self-respecting existential mammals at least once per
week: “I am my
true self.” Cue the
angelic choirs. Cue the cosmic alignment. Satori indeed. Cue the mysterious
uplifting music they play in enlightenment documentaries. Except...
what on earth does that mean? Step One: Pretend It Means Something Let’s be
honest. Most of us who say “I am my true self” are really
just relieved we’ve stopped pretending to like jazz-fusion,
or finally said no to that MLM friend from yoga class. But
philosophers don’t let that sort of thing slide. They want to know: ·
What exactly is a “self”? ·
What makes one of these “selves” more “true” than another? ·
And if you’re already yourself, what were you
before? A cucumber? A fork? Jeff? Step Two: Zoom Out to the Cosmic Horror Now
imagine this whole drama playing out against the background of the
observable universe—which, just to refresh your existential dread, is: ·
~93 billion light-years wide, ·
Mostly dark, cold, and silent, ·
Largely indifferent to your breakthrough at hot
yoga. In that
context, saying “I am my true self” is like a dust mote on a hurricane
whispering, “I’ve finally aligned with my essence.” Good for
you, little mote. The black hole over there is still going to eat your
galaxy. Step Three: Settle for the Only Thing You’ve Got After all
the cosmic scale annihilates your ambitions, you're left with exactly one
thing: “I am.” That’s
it. That’s your whole résumé. “I am a
weird, squishy, half-conscious local turbulence pattern in space-time that
thinks it’s the protagonist.” And guess
what? That still counts as a win. Because
in a reality where everything else is unprovable—Brahman, Atman, Uncle Bob’s
crypto coin predictions—the raw, unfiltered fact of your experience is the
only thing that doesn’t blink. Step Four: Declare Victory Anyway So yes.
You may not know where you came from, what you are, what happens after death,
or how to fold a fitted sheet. But you are.
And you’re doing it. “I am my
true self” doesn’t mean you’re perfect. Final Thought If your
experience is all you’ve got, then dammit, own it. Be your
true self. Even if that self: ·
Eats cereal for dinner, ·
Wears socks that don’t match, ·
Still hasn’t forgiven your 7th-grade gym teacher. You don’t
have to be a cosmic truth-bearer. And
that’s perfectly authentic. Now go
wash that spoon. The druid said: “I am
my true self.” |