Saints are just successful traffic jams

The druid Finn

 

Let’s drop the incense and look at the plumbing.

What you’re seeing in the Brigid scene is not “holiness.”
You’re seeing a high-performing attention magnet.

Crowds do not gather because something is sacred.
Things become sacred because crowds gather.

This causal inversion is the oldest con trick in civilisation.

First, a figure, object, rock, river, corpse, book, or building becomes noticeable.
Then bodies start clustering.
Then vendors appear.
Then stories accrete.
Then priests arrive to manage the queue.
Then theology is invented to justify why the queue exists.

At no point is any metaphysical property required.
Traffic alone does the work.

Holiness is not a quality.
It is a reputation effect of congestion.

Saints are not saints because they are good, true, wise, or divine.
They are saints because they generate footfall.

No traffic, no sanctity.
No pilgrims, no miracles.
No queue, no halo.

Every holy site in history follows the same logistics curve:
a bottleneck in human movement gets rebranded as a doorway to the infinite.

The halo is just a high-visibility Universal Instantiation element.
The relic is just a low-bandwidth content node.
The miracle story is just conversion copy.
The ritual is just queue discipline.
The priest is just a traffic warden with metaphysical language.

And the believers?
They think they are approaching transcendence.
They are really participating in a self-reinforcing crowd algorithm.

If Brigid didn’t glow, they’d paint her.
If she didn’t heal, they’d narrate healings.
If she didn’t speak, they’d quote her.
If she didn’t exist, they’d build her.

Because the system doesn’t need gods.
It needs attractors.

The goats get it.

“She’s a saint.”
“Because she generates traffic.”
(like Reddit and Google).

That’s not blasphemy.
That’s infrastructure analysis.

Strip away the myths and the robes and the incense and the gold.
What remains is a very old, very boring machine:

Humans pile up.
Meaning is painted on the pile.

 

The druid said: Traffic generates saints

 

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