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Saints are just successful traffic jams
The druid Finn

Let’s
drop the incense and look at the plumbing.
What
you’re seeing in the Brigid scene is not “holiness.”
You’re seeing a high-performing attention magnet.
Crowds do
not gather because something is sacred.
Things become sacred because crowds gather.
This
causal inversion is the oldest con trick in civilisation.
First, a
figure, object, rock, river, corpse, book, or building becomes noticeable.
Then bodies start clustering.
Then vendors appear.
Then stories accrete.
Then priests arrive to manage the queue.
Then theology is invented to justify why the queue exists.
At no
point is any metaphysical property required.
Traffic alone does the work.
Holiness
is not a quality.
It is a reputation effect of congestion.
Saints
are not saints because they are good, true, wise, or divine.
They are saints because they generate footfall.
No
traffic, no sanctity.
No pilgrims, no miracles.
No queue, no halo.
Every
holy site in history follows the same logistics curve:
a bottleneck in human movement gets rebranded as a doorway to the infinite.
The halo
is just a high-visibility Universal Instantiation element.
The relic is just a low-bandwidth content node.
The miracle story is just conversion copy.
The ritual is just queue discipline.
The priest is just a traffic warden with metaphysical language.
And the
believers?
They think they are approaching transcendence.
They are really participating in a self-reinforcing crowd algorithm.
If Brigid
didn’t glow, they’d paint her.
If she didn’t heal, they’d narrate healings.
If she didn’t speak, they’d quote her.
If she didn’t exist, they’d build her.
Because
the system doesn’t need gods.
It needs attractors.
The goats
get it.
“She’s a
saint.”
“Because she generates traffic.” (like
Reddit and Google).
That’s
not blasphemy.
That’s infrastructure analysis.
Strip
away the myths and the robes and the incense and the gold.
What remains is a very old, very boring machine:
Humans
pile up.
Meaning is painted on the pile.
The druid said: Traffic generates saints
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