Big Sister Can’t Find Her Glasses

(But She Knows Where You Hid Yours)

By Finn, the druid

Once upon a time tyranny had the decency to look like tyranny.

It wore a uniform.
It shouted.
It put your name on a list and then helpfully showed you the list.

Big Brother was basically your angry uncle with a moustache.

Big Sister, however, is your mother’s Fitbit.

She doesn’t shout. She hums.
She doesn’t arrest you. She optimises you.
She doesn’t ban your opinions. She just makes sure nobody ever accidentally stumbles across them.

Surveillance, but make it caring

Big Brother watched to catch you out.

Big Sister watches because she “just wants to help.”

She scrapes your emails, your clicks, your heart-rate, your insomnia, your late-night searches for “why do I feel weird when the moon is full” — not to judge you, but to predict you better than you predict yourself.

This is not spying.
This is mothering at scale.

How dissidents are dealt with now

Old-school dissidents were jailed, tortured, burnt at the stake.

Modern dissidents are allowed to keep talking to themselves.

You post your manifesto.
It gets two likes: your aunt and a bot selling crypto socks.

You complain about censorship.
The system agrees enthusiastically — in a folder nobody opens.

This is called freedom of expression without freedom of distribution.

The three-step care plan

1. Smothering
You’re not silenced — you’re simply surrounded by cat videos until your thoughts suffocate quietly.

2. Silencing
Nothing is blocked. Everything just loads slightly slower. Especially you.

3. Excommunication
You still exist, but:

o your bank account “needs review,”

o your login “can’t be verified,”

o your reputation score is “temporarily unavailable,”

o and your career is now a podcast for twelve confused people in Donegal.

o You’re treated as 1 of 8 billion.

The miracle of modern elimination

No firing squads.
No gulags (except in a few old fashioned Big Brother domains)
No dramatic final speeches.

You just wake up one day and realise:

Nobody is angry with you.
Nobody is arguing with you.
Nobody is even aware of you.

You haven’t been cancelled.

You’ve been misplaced by the infrastructure.

The final maternal wisdom

Big Brother broke bones.
Big Sister breaks metrics.

Big Brother said:
“You will obey.”

Big Sister says:
“You may do anything, as long as you’re happy… and as long as it doesn’t travel.”

And when you finally ask where everybody went, you hear her soothing reply from the cloud:

“Don’t worry, darling.
I’m still here, and listening.”

From fact to fiction

From survival to story

Big Brother vs. Big Sister

Big Sister’s Tao

All Finn’s blogs

The Druid Finn’s homepage