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The Buddha’s great Anatta con How the Buddha Won India by Not Saying What He Meant
(or Anything at All) By Finn, the druid Let’s
stop pretending. Here’s
the ugly, hilarious secret at the heart of Buddhism: The Buddha’s Big Doctrine —
“non-self” — is built on not defining the thing he denies. Yes. Let’s
unpack this slow-motion intellectual car crash. 1. The Buddha’s Genius: Never Define the Thing You’re
Against Brahmins
were shouting: “Ātman exists! Eternal! Unchanging! Blah blah!” The
Buddha’s response? Did he
say: ·
“Ātman doesn’t
exist”? Did he
say: ·
“Ātman exists”? Did he
say: ·
“Ātman is
something else entirely”? So he went with the safest,
slipperiest, most debate-proof strategy ever invented: Just don’t define anything. Ask him
what atta is? Ask him
if it exists? Ask him
if it doesn’t exist? Ask him
why he's silent? Of course it does — for the poor
bastard asking the question (recall his refusal to define Nirvana) 2. The Con: Deny What You Refuse to Describe The Buddha’s
doctrine: “There is
no self.” The
missing footnote: “But I
won’t tell you what ‘self’ means.” This is
like a mathematician announcing: “Proof: glorfax does not exist.” And the
students say: Congratulations,
you’ve just invented Buddhism. 3. Anicca Does the Work. Anattā
Does the Marketing. Here’s
the real kicker: Impermanence (anicca)
already explains everything. If everything
is transient, then nothing is a stable self. But the
Buddha couldn’t sell a new movement in a Brahmin-dominated culture without
taking a jab at their precious ātman. So he inserted anattā
like a brand logo: ·
Anicca = the engine ·
Dukkha = the exhaust ·
Anattā = the
bumper sticker It’s the
Buddhist version of a political slogan: 4. The Three Characteristics Sutra: Buddhism’s Press
Release The
famous triad: 1. Everything
is impermanent. 2. Because
of this, clinging hurts. 3. Also, by the way, there is no self. (Don't ask.) Let’s
rewrite this honestly: 1. Everything
falls apart. 2. It sucks
when you pretend it doesn’t. 3. And for
legal reasons, we deny the Brahmin soul thing. There. 5. Why the Buddha Never Took a Position: Positions
Cause Suffering The
Buddha’s philosophy of debate: ·
Fixed view? Suffering. ·
Defined term? Suffering. ·
Ontology? Maximum suffering. Thus he practiced metaphysical
celibacy. He was
the ultimate spiritual politician: Never
answer the question you were asked — If
Aristotle met the Buddha, he’d scream. 6. The Enlightened Marketing Strategy You want
to start up a cult? Jains had
austerity. (St Paul had ‘original sin’) The
Buddha had: “We don’t have a self. But don’t panic — it means
nothing.” A
tactical decoy. It
worked. 7. The Ultimate Irony: Later Buddhists Took the Con
Seriously Whole
empires rose on this decoy. ·
Theravādins wrote
thousands of pages explaining the absence of something never defined. ·
Madhyamikas
universalized emptiness until everyone’s head hurt. ·
Yogācārins quietly
smuggled a new pseudo-self in the back door. ·
Zen declared the whole thing a joke
and rang a bell. Meanwhile
the Buddha in the corner: Too late. 8. The Real Teaching Was Always Anicca Impermanence
is rock-solid: ·
babies grow up ·
stars collapse ·
empires crumble ·
monks get fat ·
gurus get caught Clinging
to the transient is obviously painful (well, maybe?) Everything
else is: ·
packaging ·
polemics ·
advertising ·
doctrinal inertia ·
medieval scholasticism ·
and the Buddha’s strategic silence made into
metaphysics 9. Final Verdict: The Buddha Outsmarted Everyone —
Including His Followers He used anattā as camouflage. He denied what he never described. And the
world decided this was profound and bought into it. Caveat emptor That’s
the real miracle. Why the Buddha mistook a
feedback alarm for a Cosmic Truth The Procedural Theory
of Suffering (dukkha) |